Jesús Mi Fiel Amigo

Recently while searching on Youtube for song that we did for VBS in Mexico, I came across a song.  The song is called 'Jesus Mi Fiel Amigo'  which means Jesus my faithful friend.  Although I had to translate most of the lyrics, it has become one of my most favorite songs to sing.  I noticed in Mexico that while worshiping, singing songs that I could not understand, and raising my hands with others whom I couldn't communicate with, I realized just how powerful worshiping God is.  Regardless of the launguage, and whether you can understand it or not, it's just the thought of worshiping God that matters.  I knew a few of the words to some of the songs, but ultimately it was just an eye opening heart changing time.  When I was truly able to praise God, and worship Him!

There was nothing around me that could distract me because everywhere I looked I saw God.  Being in a half finished building, with the children that don't have parents, and teens that were simply there at that time to surrender and serve God, it was like I was getting a small view at Gods heart, and how He saw the world.  Being able to completely and totally surrender my heart, and to truly ask Him to break my heart, for what breaks His, it's amazing.  

Here is the song, even though I'm sure most of you don't speak Spanish, take a few minutes and listen to it. :) 

(Yes, it's the kids VBS version! I can't help it, I just LOVE this stuff!) 

Joy and Heartbreak

Last night after youth group, I got the wonderful opportunity to discuss Mexico with my youth pastor, Justin. I found out that we will be building a resource center, on the orphanage's property so that they can better serve their community.  We also may be helping a young couple build their house, so they can get it done quicker. :)  Of course we will be doing VBS (It's my favorite!!) at different churches.  

I am so glad that God has given us teens the wonderful chance to better the lives of others!  Most teens think about reaching out, and helping others but feel like they can't do it.  But when adults decide to lend a hand and show us ways that we can, it makes a huge difference!  I love these missions trips, because I love seeing all of us come together to benefit others.  It's truly an amazing sight, and it moves your heart.  Especially seeing the outcome once it's done.    

I was talking to a friend recently, who will be going down to Mexico for his first time in March.  I was explaining to him the joys, the happiness, and how wonderful it is to bless other people.  He is quite shy at first, so you could tell he wasn't too excited about going.  I explained to him, that I myself am shy unless we are super close friends.  I tend to be quite and observe more then I speak my mind.  But in Mexico, you are "forced" to step out of your comfort zone and communicate with others.  The Mexico missions trip, really tests each and everyone of us, it stretches us in ways you wouldn't think possible.  We then have the perfect chance to choose to be like Jesus, with the way we treat others.  With our responses, our attitudes, and our actions.  You build friendships through this, and it becomes easier to communicate.  

Although this missions trip is full of joy, happiness, and beautiful memories just waiting to be made, it also breaks your heart in many ways.  Paul (The outreach ministry director at my church.) took us through some neighborhoods in Heromsillo, last March.  He explained the back story of the neighbor hood before we went in.  It is absolutely heart breaking to see how these people live, and the 'houses' that they call home.   Houses built form literally anything they could find.  Fences made out of mattress springs, and walls built from card board boxes, and old pieces of fabric.  It really puts things into perspective, and makes you feel guilty, when you think of what you go home to every night.  I remember how I felt after coming back from Mexico.  I remember every night for months, laying in my bed, thinking of the people, their houses.  I remember feeling terrible that I could lay in my queen sized bed, with my pillows and comforter, with my closet full of clothes, as well as my dresser, without a care in the world.  I remember wanting to sit on the floor and cry, because I felt so greedy.  I wanted everything to be taken from me, and I wanted to live like those people do.  I wanted to know what it felt like to be genuinely thankful for what I had.  But after a few months of being back in the U.S  the thoughts drifted away, along with the guilt.  I slowly became consumed in the world, that I forgot all about it.  It's not until right now, while typing this that my heart feels heavy again.  

This is the place that a family calls home.

They are thankful for this, and I only want more.

It's easy to forget about things like this, because it doesn't affect us.  We have literally everything we could every need at our finger tips.  But in the Bible in multiple places,  Jesus instructs us to care for the poor, the widow, and the orphan.  As Katie Davis states "God doesn't ask that we care for the less fortunate, he demands it."  and it's true.  We aren't asked we are told.  We are called to love them like Jesus loves us.  

I am ready to pack up and go back down to Hermosillo, to make new memories, and to have my heart broken all over again.  I'm ready to see God's face in every child, and person that I come in contact with, I am ready to bless those that I do not know.  

Little Did I know...

If you would have come to me 3 years ago, and asked me where I thought I would be in the years to come I can guarantee that my answer would not have been "Advocating, and loving on the least of these.".  I probably would have told you that  had no clue.  Or I would have said, I would be graduating, hanging out with friends, and living like every other teenager.  Little did I know that 3 years ago, on May 3rd that I would stumble upon a website, and precious little girl that would change my world forever.

I really would have never in a million years thought that I would have the heart that I do now.  I would have never thought that Adoption, Special needs, and the word 'redemption' would mean so much to me.  I would have never even guessed that at the age of 18, I can sit for ours and dream of the day when I myself, can adopt a child, that has been deemed unworthy of life, and show them love.

But God works in mysterious ways doesn't He?  Because of Reece's Rainbow, and their dedication to these kids and the families that step out in faith to rescue these kids, they have had a huge roll in changing my heart.  God used them, and their faithfulness, their trust in God, and their willingness to bless others, for more then they would have thought.  My heart has been flipped upside down, and has an understanding of what it means to truly love.

Adults tell me all the time, that I shouldn't have my heart set on things like adoption, at this age.  They seem to be so sure that my desires will change, that I wont want to rescue the kids that need it most.  As if it's a wast of my time, to help families rescue these kids since I can't yet.  But I know what God is calling me to do, I know where my heart is at, and I know that God is working in me now so that I can be prepared, (Or as prepared as you can be for international adoption.) for what He has planned for me.  I'm as aware as your can be, without actually going through an adoption, of the struggles.  I have watched many adoptions from beginning to end, I have prayed tirelessly for multiple families, and seen them struggle and beg God for a miracle.  I have seen God pull through with a miracle and I have also seen Him say, this is where your journey ends.  I am fully aware that it isn't easy, and that it's a huge deal.  But I also have a God that is bigger than all of that.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that, adoption, redemption, saving lives, advocating, praying, helping families, blessing others, it's all what God made me for.   I firmly believe that my main mission on earth is to live out James 1:27 "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless, is to look after orphans and widows in their distress, and not let ones self be polluted by the ways of the world."   I wont rest till every child has a family.

"As for me and my house we will serve the Lord." Joshua 24:15

Hmmm.

Oh the joys of life, and trying new things!  Although I'm not to crazy about trying new things, I know it's not something you can exactly ignore, or avoid in life.  Seeing as every corner you turn there is a new experience just waiting for you! I'm slowly but surely working past this fear of mine, and pushing through, trying new things!  I'm also getting a slight glimpse of what it means to grow up, and be a big person....I'm not sure how I feel about it.  But growing up is also something that I can't stop, or avoid.

Luckily, my best friend is also going through some of the same stuff that I am!  Which is awesome in it's own way, cause we're skipping through this new territory with each other. (And God too, of course.)

Maybe I will go more into detail about the 'new things' in my life, but that in and of it's self is worth a whole other blog post!  So for now I will just update you on the simple things!

For the past few months I have had this huge blue piece of poster board sitting in my room.  I had no idea what I should do with it.  Then, I got a new phone and would loose all the Bible verses that I had saved on my previous phone.  So I took the time to type out the verses, I then printed them out, cut them out and glued them on to this piece of poster board!  I love it!  I'm going to be adding more verses to it as well! :)

Let see, I cut my hair shorter after I told myself I wouldn't cut it till March.  I didn't cut it too much shorter, only a few inches off.  I like it, and think it looks pretty nice! :) 

I'm sure there is more that I would love to write about but I either don't feel like sharing it at this point in time, or I just forgot about it.  So anywho, this is *some* of my life as we speak.  Trying new things, getting over my fear of failure, putting poster board to good use, and cutting my hair.  :)

Being The Hands And Feet!

So as many of you may remember, last year around this time I was preparing to go on my very first Missions trip, to Hermosillo, Mexico.   Last year, my dad told me  that I could only go on the trip if I was able to get all of the needed money on my own.  Me, being me I said 'Challenge Accepted!'  I made this post, and shared it on my Facebook wall.  But what I did not expect was to be blessed in the way that God blessed me.  I needed $375 for this trip, and God gave me that money in 2 days!  Yes, 2 days!  People were generous enough to donate even the smallest amount to help me out! :) I blogged about that here!

So this year, I am already being blessed in the same way.  A friend of my moms, generously gave $100 towards the money that I need this year, in order to go to Mexico in March!  My church is also going to take off $300 if I help out with outreach projects at my church!  So this coming Saturday I will be doing childcare, and that will help take the cost down! Which only leaves me $300 to raise!  Well now that my moms friend sponsored $100, it's only $200 :)  

If you would like to help me on my mission to be the hands a feet of Jesus, it would be greatly appreciated. :)    P.S I just stopped typing to go grab some links of older blog posts.  As I read through those posts, I was reminded, how blessed I was.  God provides when you are doing what He has called you to do.  He really does.

I'm oh so excited for this trip, I cannot hardly contain it!  I have been counting down the days, for weeks!  In case you were wondering, it's only 61 days till Mexico! ;)   My heart is ready to go back and bless those kids!  Although the language barrier was difficult last year, it wont be an issues this year!  Simply because I got the chance to go down to Hermosillo, in October of last year.  It was a small trip with my big brother, my big sister, and two of my best friends Kristian, and Ricky.  (Now before I go on about the language barrier here are some photos ;))

Now, when we went back down in October we spent 3 whole days with the kids.  We played all day long, and it was the best!  We were most certainly worn out, and exhausted but it was SO worth it!  The language barrier was a problem for about the first hour, but then it became a second nature to use the Spanish that we knew.  The kids would try and talk to us in English, and we would do the same in Spanish!  We laughed when we messed up, but overall there was a lot of showing that we cared about them, through our actions instead of words!  Beka, and I had the idea to bring down some items for the kids as a surprise!  We brought them sidewalk chalk, frisbees, and bubbles!  They loved them all!  Seeing them practice throwing the frisbee around was highly entertaining, but some of them were naturals!  They through it like they had been playing forever!  Juan Carlos, Lupita, and Nancy (Whom are some of the youngest at the orphanage.)  LOVED the bubbles!  They thought they were the best things ever!  They went through the bubbles very quickly! :)

I could go on for hours about how amazing the trip was, about the kids and their personalities, the way that Mexico has touched, and changed my heart for the better.  My heart is ready to go back! :) So I am praying that God will bless me with $200, so that I can be on my way back to those kids!  So if you feel led there is a "Chip-In" on the left side of the blog, where you can give to.  Remember there is no gift to small, it all helps me get closer to my goal. :)  Thank you in advanced for helping me out!

God Bless,
Alyssa

Attacked

The nightmares are worse then ever, attitude swings, not caring about lyrics to music, not being bothered by what I put in my head, feeling worn out, torn down, and exhausted.  I haven't gone to youth group in two weeks, I have had issues keeping up on my Bible reading, although my heart is begging me to soak up all the Jesus I can get my hands on, something always distracts me.   64 days till Mexico, my heart aches, my arms ache, I need to be with those kids, I need to be where I only have what I need.  Right now, I need to be anywhere but here, I wasn't made for this.  I was made to live where I had very little, I was made for a place where everyone is genuinely thankful, for everything that own.  Where I can give my love to these kids, and know they soak it up, and don't take it for granted.

I need to be in a place where I see God in everything.  Every child's face, every plate of food, every sunset, every sunrise, I need to be there.

It always gets bad, when I have a date and know when I will be back to that place.  When I can physically count down the days, hours, minutes, till that is reality.   It's the time when my heart aches the most, and I feel the weakest.  It's the time when my mind and heart are remembering how alive, apparent God's present was.  But here, in the states...It's so lost.  There is so much going on, so much to focus on, so many other things, that Gods presence has become muffled to me.  I know He is there, but with everything going on, with out being directly in his heart....I've forgotten what it feels like.   I miss being on fire for Him, I miss loving on His kids, I miss it.  I've gotten to this part of this post, and have broken down in tears.   My heart, it hurts, it aches, for many reasons other then just missing sweet faces.   The devil has gotten a foot hold in my heart, he has torn me down in many more ways then just one.   When I get back from these trips I feel so lost, I have no clue what I should focus on, look forward to, or even try to be.  Then eventually...I slip into the ways of the world, I listen to what I shouldn't I get consumed in tv shows that I shouldn't, I become physically and mentally exhausted, I don't want to do anything but be lazy.  I get bored with what I have so I go search for more.  But the more that I find only satisfies me for so long, the movies, tv shows, music, people, electronics, it only helps for so long.  Nothing but Jesus, can fill this void, this whole, this longing in my heart.    I know He's the only thing that will help this, but it feels so far away, too high to reach, like I have fallen to far.  

I've let the devil in, I've let him take control of somethings...my music, choice, my time consumption, my focus.  It's all on wordly things.  I feel like my head is spinning, one minute I'm all for God, saving the world, happy focused.  The next second, I'm sad, angry, wasting valuable time, watching things I shouldn't,  listening to music that isn't going to send my mind anywhere but in a whirlwind of emotions, that I don't need to worry about.  

As I sit here typing this, I hear God saying "Let go"  I hear Him saying "I've got you, turn to me."  I feel Him again, I feel His arms around me, I physically feel it.  He is here, He wants my heart, He wants to change this.   He wants me back.  He wants to fill this longing, this void, He wants this to end.   Because He cares for me.  He loves me.  He wants me back.  I am more then the devil has made me feel, I am more then the music, and movies, and tv shows.  My heart is bigger then this, and God wants it back.  He wants to use it, if I will let Him in.  I will let Him in, I will give it all to Him, He will wipe the tears from my cheeks, and say "It's okay, I never left you."

I feel whole again.  He fought the fight that I couldn't, He won the battle that I would have lost on my own.   Spiritual warfare is a dangerous, and terrifying thing, if you give the devil even one tiny foot hold, he slips in, silently, unnoticed, unwanted.   It's tough, turning back to God only because your mind holds so tighly to the ways of the world and doesn't want to release it grasp.  But your heart, it wants so badly to turn back to what it knows it true.  It's a struggle between right and wrong, it's a battle that I never want to fight again, although I know I will have to.  But I will never be alone.  Ever.