Don't You See, I Love You

I feel like I need to be continuously writing about the things God is doing in my life, I'm in absolute awe of what He is revealing.

Last night (12/7/2016) I was late to my connect group (Bible study through my church).  I haven't gone to Connect Group in months, but had been promising my second family that I would come this week.  I walked in late and while I missed most of the study I heard God almost immediately after sitting down.

We were going over the story of Mary and how God spoke through Gabriel saying that she would give birth to a baby boy and would name him Jesus. We talked about Mary hearing God and being obedient even though what He was asking her to do was 1) Impossible in her mind and 2) One of the toughest things to commit to, but she said "Behold, I am the servant of The Lord; let it be to me according to your word." Obedience. She chose obedience in a difficult situation. Which leads us to where I so clearly heard God speak to my heart.

Mr.Waterbury, who leads the study, posed the question "Have any of you ever heard from God or been given signs or confirmation that He was speaking to you?"  As he posed that question I so clearly heard "Be bold." over and over again.  I knew that God was asking me to step out of my shy withdrawn personality and be bold in sharing the work He is doing in my life.  I struggled for a moment, but reminded myself "This is where you surrender to Him." and when it came time Mrs.Waterbury (This family has so graciously accepted me as their adopted daughter.) turned and looked at me and with a smirk said "What about you? Has God spoken to you?" fully knowing what I had gone through these past 11 weeks, and so I began to share my testimony.

It was honestly the greatest privilege to me to be able to share that God is in fact working, actively working, in my life.  I've grown up in a strong Christian home, I've had an easy life and when I was 6 I got to choose to accept Christ as my savior because it's what I was raised in.  I've never had a testimony to share, I've never felt like I had anything worth while to say and honestly, up until recently...I have never clearly heard God speak to me.  I'm in awe of everything that He's doing and I just want to share it with everyone.  I can't even describe what He is doing in my heart but oh man, is it beautiful.

I shared my testimony and felt absolutely wonderful. I sat after group with Mrs.Waterbury and another wonderful woman, Melody, and they just listened to me share my heart and ministered to me.  They made me feel so loved and it was such a blessing to see other people excited for the things that God is doing in my life.

These 11 weeks I have gained an entirely new trust in God and I'm beginning to see Him in a brand new light.  He is bigger than I ever imagined and everyday I get to experience new sides of Him because He wrecked my heart, absolutely destroyed it, and said "Don't you see, I love you and I want you. I have so much to show you. Please, Love, just let me in. Let me work." He's actively pursing me and I'm actively learning to how lean into Him and let Him work.

I still can't get over the fact that He is actively pursuing my heart even when I push away and want nothing to do with Him.

He is relentless, and He is swooning my heart back into a deeper relationship with Him.

With love,
Alyssa