Something Horrible happened. I woke up Monday morning to my dad telling me that my baby sister passed away while still in my moms tummy it was only 3 days till moms due date. For 2 hours the only thing I could say was "no". I wanted this to all be a dream. I couldn't loose my baby sister. It just couldn't be real. Unfortunately it was. All day Monday I just cried and cried. I didn't know what else to do. I was praying for a miracle and hoping that when she was born her precious heart beat would be back. But it wasn't in His will. I don't understand what His reasoning is for this or why it had to be a precious baby. At about 9 O'clock Monday night Addison was still born. When my dad texted me to tell me I just started balling. There were many tears. My Big sister Beka was here to hold me as well as my older brother Luke. Ellyn was here too. My friends have been an amazing support to me. I was so exhausted and needed sleep. Beka left at about 10:30 pm that is when I went to bed. The next morning we loaded all 9 kids up and headed over to the hospital. When we walked in to the room. Tears filled everyones eyes. Poor Addison so lifeless and helpless. Only a few of us held her. Then Luke took All of the kids home I stayed at the hospital with mom dad and Addison. I held her for an hour and a half. I didn't want to give her up or put her down. This isn't how it's supposed to be. She is supposed to be here in my arms. My parents aren't supposed to be at the funeral home. It felt so wrong leaving her at the hospital. So wrong. I'm homesick for heaven and I wish I was in Heaven with Addison. There were so many things I looked forward to doing with her. That I will never get to do now. Right now Life sucks. I want my little sister, I want her in my arms. That is all that I want.
Addison, I love you more then you will ever get to know. heaven has one beautiful angle. I don't know why this had to happen to you. I wish I knew but I don't I love you baby girl.
Love sissy.
Addison, I love you more then you will ever get to know. heaven has one beautiful angle. I don't know why this had to happen to you. I wish I knew but I don't I love you baby girl.
Love sissy.
Addison Ruth Goodhue, the whole time I held you I was praying that God would just let your little eyes open and for a breathe of air to come into your lungs. :'(
You are the single most perfect little girl in the entire world.
Addison...I love you so much and will NEVER EVER forget you. EVER.
Love Sissy.
This post put me in repentant tears. The day your sister Addition was born, I spent feeling sorry for myself because my husband and I were having to spend another anniversary, our 19th, apart from each other. It breaks my heart to think that while you were grieving the separation from the sister you eagerly awaited, I was behaving pathetically over our temporary distance apart. Your post here serves as a character quiz for me. When things don't go the way I want, am I going to throw myself a pity party or instead know that someone is most likely facing more difficult circumstances than me in that moment. I understand your prayer for God to bring that breath of life back into Addison's lungs. I prayed the same thing the night my dad passed away 2.5 yrs ago. I don't know why Addison and my dad didn't get more days here than they did. All I know is that there is an unexplainable peace when we choose to trust that God's plan is perfect and without any errors. I wish I could hug you right now. You are so incredibly wise beyond your years. And your heart is so tender. Don't ever let life's circumstances steal that from you. (((hugs)))
ReplyDelete~ Michelle
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