Dear Dennis,

Hello there precious man!

So you would think that because I have *counts on fingers* nine brothers, I would be drawn to advocating for little girls.  Turns out that isn't the case.  I haven't ever truly 'Fallen head over heels' in love with a little girl.  There are many that I find to be truly captivating  and there are many that if I were old enough I would adopt, but not that I have fallen in love with...advocacy wise.  It seems that every time I pray and say "God give me my next mission."  he always puts a little boy on my heart. Maybe it's because He knows that I have a great knowledge of what little boys should be doing.  Playing outside, pretending to be explorers, or super hero's.  Getting dirty in the mud, and playing with bugs.  Climbing tall trees, as you pretend to be a monkey.  Making the noises for your little toy cars, and trucks as you drive them around the house, pondering what it would be like to have a real car. Whatever the reason He always brings me little boys.   As I write this I can't help but be sad. God gave me Kyle the last time I prayed that prayer.  With Kyle's current situation it has been difficult, but I have finally  mustered up enough strength to love another boy as much as my Kyle.  I still do love Kyle with everything in me, and will until I die.  But for now God has given me you Dennis!  You are the new mission that I asked for!

I apologize for the bad photo quality.  I pulled this snap shot from a video.

...now that I have you my sunshine boy my heart doesn't feel as empty.  There is still that spot where Kyle sits, waiting for R*ssia to open it's doors.  But you my sweet pea, you are the one God sent for me to love from a far.  Hopefully one day I can cuddle you in my arms, and tell you how big my love for you is.  :)

I must head to bed my sunshine boy, but I will write to you again soon!

I love you boo.

Dear Kyle,

I never thought this would be a letter I would have to write.  I never thought that this would be the reason a family couldn't save you.  I never thought that this would happen.  In December of 2012 R*ssia declared that the US could no longer adopt children from their country.  Many adoptions were stopped, and many families had to switch to different kids in different countries, many families left heart broken.  There were a special few that got to see their babies come home.   But you sweet Kyle...You are stuck, in a place where I can't save you.  You're stuck in a building, in a country, in a room, in a crib, where you aren't loved.  Where you spend ever day, in and out, rocking...Back and forth.  Back and forth.  My heart aches baby boy...It truly aches.  Every morning I sit and stare at your sweet picture.  I look at your beautiful brown eyes and cry.  Because I can't save you.  I can't change your fate, I can't love you, I can't show you your worth.   Because I know you are in a place that sucks.  I know your life is horrible.   This year you will turn 8 years old.  You will have another birthday...Spent alone.   That is just one of the many things that break my heart.  I wish I could save you... That is all I want.

I'm so sorry baby boy, I truly am.  I wish things were different, I wish there was something I could do.

But for now I will just pray, and hope that something changes.

I love you boo,
Love sissy.