Bent Low

I’ve come to realize just how much of a “God thing” it was that I *stumbled* upon Reece’s Rainbow.  You see I was just 13 years old, I was new to blogging, and had originally gotten into blogging to make money using Google Adsense.  Never in a million years would I have imagined that I would have my eyes opened and heart shattered into pieces, a thousand times over, and over again, by a crisis such as the 147 million orphans that are currently in the world today. 

I was 13. I was young, immature, and could have easily turned away and focused on the “typical” likes, and dislikes of every other 13 year old girl…but I didn’t.  I ask myself “What would cause a 13 year old to focus solely on others? And special needs?  That’s not *normal* for a 13 year old.” And I could never figure out the “right” answer.  Until yesterday, as I was leaving Walmart.  I’m currently on vacation in Missouri, we stopped by Walmart to pick up a few things and as I was parading my little brothers out to the van,  I passed a mama, and her two little girls, one with Down syndrome.  It was in that moment when I looked at this sweet pea, as she giggled with her sister that God revealed the cause of my passion: Him.  He is the reason, and I know it seems simple but really think about it.  Yes, he gave me my passion, but why.  Why at 13 years old?  Why 5 years later am I still breaking my heart over these kids?  Why is this passion still here?

There is a quote that’s rather popular amongst those of us that are *obsessed* with missions trips, that says “God doesn’t call the equipped, he equips the called.”  We are all called to do something, and God teaches, allows, and gifts us exactly what we need for the passions that we are called to pursue.  For me he began equipping me at 13 years old, He began stretching the lengths of my love, while growing my knowledge of the orphan crisis.  I’m 18 now, and I still continue to learn more about the conditions, and brokenness of the orphan every.single.day.  I never stop learning, and my passion only grows bigger, and deeper.   I find myself wanting to do more than blog, I want to go, and do, I want to move and use my hands,  I want to push myself till I feel like I can’t do anymore, and then ask God to push me further.   Katie Davis’ book: Kisses From Katie, has one of my all time favorite quotes: 

“We bend.  I bend to sweep crumbs and I bend to wipe vomit and I bend to pick up little ones and wipe away tears… And at the end of these days I bend next to the bed and I ask only that I could bend more, bend lower.  Because I serve a Savior who came to be a servant.  He lived bent low.  And bent down here is where I see His face.  He lived, only to die. Could I? Die to self and just break open for love.  This Savior, His one purpose to spend Himself on behalf of messy us.  Will I spend myself on behalf of those in front of me? And people say “Don’t you get tired? And yes, I do.  But I’m face to face with Jesus in the dirt, and the more I bend the harder and better and fuller this life gets.  And sure we are tired, but oh we are happy.  Because bent down low is where we find fullness of joy.”

That quote describes the every want of my heart.  I want to live bent low, I want to go to the scary places, I want God to use me in ways I never thought possible, I want to go where love is needed.  

So yes, it was/is a total God thing that at the age of 13 years old I, uneducated, immature, and blind to the horribly dark corners of the world, stumble upon a photo-listing, and had my heart broken by faces that were locked away for being who they were made to be.    But it was no accident, and it was in fact all part of God's beautiful, and sometimes scary plan for my life.   Honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way.  I am in love with the unique passions that God has put in my heart, and I strive everyday to accomplish them so that I when the time comes I can hear God say “Well done, good and faithful servant.” 

With love,

Alyssa