Healing & Mending My Heart

The past couple of days have been super tough....Lots of tears, & sadness. Not the best couple of days. Well this evening I was hanging out with some friends of mine, and we needed something to do. So we decided "Hey! Our youth pastor & his wife just had a baby! Lets go visit them!" So we headed over to their house, and walked into a room full of people. Family and friends surrounded them! A friend of theirs Carissa had Baby Parker. When we walked in she brought him over and handed him off to Jeff. Ang & Phill walked us to the other living room so we could sit and talk while taking turns holding little Parker. While watching Jeff cradle the little 5 day old baby, I was thinking to myself how hard it was going to be to hold baby Parker, because of losing Addison just weeks before. When Jeff was done holding Parker, he asked me if I wanted to hold Parker. I said yes, expecting to break into tears. I took baby Parker, and rocked back & forth. Staring in to his precious face, loving his little hands, his nose, and little eyes. The sadness and pain all just up and left my body. It was quite surprising. Instead of being filled with pain and sadness, I was filled with peace and happiness. I prayed over Baby Parker, and asked God to never let anything ever happen to that precious bundle of Joy. And that he would grow up to be a man after Gods own heart. I then turned around and handed Parker off to Ellyn, which was not an easy thing to do! Considering my love for small children :) I was able to take a deep breath and just be happy for a moment. It was a nice feeling! I am really thankful that God used something that I lost, to bring happiness and Joy into my life. He used baby Parker, to put a REAL smile on my face! I am still happy and it has been hours since I held that precious child! God is truly amazing and used a 5 day old baby, to touch my life.

Philip, Angela & Parker :) The Engle Family!

I am truly blessed and always will be!

Lots Of Love,