Really Picture It

Last November while I was with the Unroe family on their "Gotcha-Trip", Mrs.Unroe had shown me a little boy on Reece's Rainbow who was waiting for a family, his name was "Robert".  An 11 year old boy, who was born with Down syndrome, and he happened to be located in a country that is really close to my heart. Well today, close to a year later his little face popped in my head, and I wondered if he was still waiting for his family to find him, and much to my surprise he still is.  When I found him still listed on Reece's Rainbow, my heart broke a little and I longed to reach through the screen and hold him.   He'll be 12 this year, yes 12 years old though he is about the size of a 4 year old, in December he will have been waiting twelve years to feel anything other than rejection, being unwanted, unloved, always lost in the shuffle, he waits for a hope to come along.

I want to be Robert's hope, I feel like the worst advocate for waiting almost a year to realize that no one is shouting for him, he has no one.  But I, I am someone and I have the power to find his family.  I always manage to fall in love with little boys, and they are typically "older", but I feel like those kids are the most over looked.  Most families want a cute baby, or maybe a little girl with blonde hair and blue eyes, not everyone, but most families.  But this darling, Robert? Is a sweet brown eyed, boy who has all the potential in the world, imagine what his smile is like, I bet he lights up a room, and I'm sure he has the most irresistible giggle.  I remember when we picked up the three newest Unroe's from their orphanage, I remember Jonathan's reaction to seeing birds, and being able to walk around his country that he'd lived in for years but was never able to experience.   I remember Jonathan singing, and singing, and singing, oh and he loved to whistle too, and when I think of Robert I picture that he'll be just as excited to finally have a chance, outside of an orphanage, and inside of a family.

Can you picture Robert as your son?  I mean really picture it, first trip of visits, getting to know him, nurturing his broken heart, and rebuilding him into the person God created him to be, longing to hold him while you wait for court dates, and final trips, travelling for Gotcha-Day, and finally walking away from his orphanage with him in your arms forever, can you see it?

Robert needs you, he needs me.  He has little hope, and I would really hate to see him wait much longer, I will be your biggest fan, advocate, fundraiser, I'd even travel on gotcha trip if you needed me, I would climb mountains for this child, I really would.  Please, don't let fear stop you, because I can assure you that Robert is worth more than everything that comes with an international adoption, I promise you he is.

Robert's Profile: http://reecesrainbow.org/50708/robert

What's Wrong With Me

I've come to the realization that insecurity will be the death of every female, regardless of age, insecurity is what will single-handedly destroy them.  Why do I say this with such certainty?  Because my heart aches as I watch the 15 year old share her 'daily make-up routine' with her Youtube followers,  with every product she picks up the ache grows a little more each time.  She's 15, and she feels the need to use several different products to try and hide the blemishes that make her...her.  The freckles that make her unique, the natural hue in her perfectly beautiful skin.  She doesn't see beauty in who she is.

Or maybe I say this so confidently because recently I was told that foundation just helps my skin look...better.  Is this what our world has come to? Finding material things to make us look "better"?  I know it has, but to watch these girls be completely destroyed, without them even realizing what's happened until it's too late, and they can't find beauty or worth in who they are because this world has stripped them of every good thing, and told them that they are not enough...That is hard to watch.  

The subject of self-image, and self-love has been on my mind a lot recently.  I struggle with self-worth, and truly believing that I am indeed beautiful too, I'm only human it's expected.  There are days when I don't feel like leaving my house because I know my self-confidence will be shot down the second I see another girl who happens to fit societies version of beautiful better than I do. With her long hair, perfectly done make-up, and "all the right clothes", that is when I don't feel like enough, because I don't meet societies standards.  On those days I find myself overwhelmed, so overwhelmed to the point where I shut down, I don't want to do anything but sit and sift through this ongoing list in my head of what is wrong with *me*. 

Now, most people don't know about my self-image issues, so please be gracious with the fact that I am being transparent and vulnerable with you.  I'm sharing my brokenness, and flaws with you in hopes that it may be comforting to another hurting girl who feels like she isn't enough... because most days I don't feel like enough.  

I want to let you in on a little secret:  You...are more than enough.  Flaws and all.  

Yes, I am telling you that society is wrong.  Yes, I'm telling you that those products?  The ones that the marketing companies promise will "enhance your beauty"? Are indeed, just hiding the face that is perfect to begin with  Yes, I'm telling you that using those products doesn't enhance your beauty, they just hide it.  

I've never been one to wear foundations, or concealers, because I've promised myself that on those days when I feel that I am not pretty enough, that I will not ruin the canvas that God has already painted perfectly.  I may not see it at the moment, but I will never see it if I am constantly covering it up, trying to hide, or change the things that I a human who has no true vision of beauty, don't like.  We will never have a true vision of beauty unless we see beauty in the things that God sees as beautiful.  Our current vision of beauty is shaped by what?  Yes, society, and what society considers "beautiful".  

I'm not saying make-up is a horrible thing, but I am saying that we use it as a crutch, we depend on it for beauty.  But fake isn't beautiful.  Flaws are beautiful, they make us unique, one of a kind.  We, you, I are all beautifully made, hand crafted by a God who doesn't make ugly, who doesn't make worthless, who doesn't make less than enough.  Though we have no choice but to live in a broken society, we always have the choice to shoot down the opinions and lies of this world, and embrace our beauty, confidence, WORTH, and love who we have been created to be.  

"Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself." -Coco Chanel 

Beauty Is Fake

You are enough.

Three words, that are more than true, but why do we have such a hard time believing them?  Why is it that the few hurtful words easily over power the handfuls of positive ones?  In our society today beauty is a lie.  The girls on the magazines are fake, and photo-shopped.  Girls, feel the need to wear pounds, and pounds of make-up in order to be beautiful, which ultimately hides their true beauty.   We wonder why girls are this way, we wonder why girls throw themselves as guys for attention, we wonder why girls can't *just be real*.  But you see, you're asking too much, you're asking for girls to be real in a world where "beauty" is fake, it's a lie, we give girls standards that are impossible to reach, unless you're a photo on a computer screen, that's been altered and shrunk. 

I think we've forgotten what beauty is.  What does it mean to be beautiful? Putting others first, being humble, not shouting for attention, being sweet, and kind, having class and realizing that what's in your heart is enough to attract a man, who is genuinely interested in who you are, and not what your body looks like.  Beauty is from within, when your heart is stunning, and beaming with love, gentleness, and kindness, when you try your best to see the best in others, you will be the most radiant, and beautiful girl.  

Everyone is beautiful.  It's as simple as that.  We are all unique, creative, silly, courageous, funny, daring, sweet, and different in our own ways.  Today's society pushes for everyone to be the same, for everyone to dress, and look the same.  Long hair, long legs, a skinny waist, and a flawless face are societies standards for beauty, but that is impossible for anyone to reach.  Their standards are outrageous, and too high.  They don't realize that they are destroying girls, they are taking their confidence and telling them that they aren't enough.  They are telling them they will never be beautiful, or amount to anything in this world.  But this beauty is a lie, it's not beauty, it's harsh, and ugly.  It's harmful, and destructive.  Beauty is what you want it to be, whether it's short hair or long hair, whether it's skirts and dresses, or jeans and ball caps, whether it's make-up or no make-up, whether it's cheer leading, or band. You are you, and that is more than enough.  Hold your head high, flash your stunning smile, and walk like you own the place, because you are your own kind of beautiful.

And you are enough. 

Bent Low

I’ve come to realize just how much of a “God thing” it was that I *stumbled* upon Reece’s Rainbow.  You see I was just 13 years old, I was new to blogging, and had originally gotten into blogging to make money using Google Adsense.  Never in a million years would I have imagined that I would have my eyes opened and heart shattered into pieces, a thousand times over, and over again, by a crisis such as the 147 million orphans that are currently in the world today. 

I was 13. I was young, immature, and could have easily turned away and focused on the “typical” likes, and dislikes of every other 13 year old girl…but I didn’t.  I ask myself “What would cause a 13 year old to focus solely on others? And special needs?  That’s not *normal* for a 13 year old.” And I could never figure out the “right” answer.  Until yesterday, as I was leaving Walmart.  I’m currently on vacation in Missouri, we stopped by Walmart to pick up a few things and as I was parading my little brothers out to the van,  I passed a mama, and her two little girls, one with Down syndrome.  It was in that moment when I looked at this sweet pea, as she giggled with her sister that God revealed the cause of my passion: Him.  He is the reason, and I know it seems simple but really think about it.  Yes, he gave me my passion, but why.  Why at 13 years old?  Why 5 years later am I still breaking my heart over these kids?  Why is this passion still here?

There is a quote that’s rather popular amongst those of us that are *obsessed* with missions trips, that says “God doesn’t call the equipped, he equips the called.”  We are all called to do something, and God teaches, allows, and gifts us exactly what we need for the passions that we are called to pursue.  For me he began equipping me at 13 years old, He began stretching the lengths of my love, while growing my knowledge of the orphan crisis.  I’m 18 now, and I still continue to learn more about the conditions, and brokenness of the orphan every.single.day.  I never stop learning, and my passion only grows bigger, and deeper.   I find myself wanting to do more than blog, I want to go, and do, I want to move and use my hands,  I want to push myself till I feel like I can’t do anymore, and then ask God to push me further.   Katie Davis’ book: Kisses From Katie, has one of my all time favorite quotes: 

“We bend.  I bend to sweep crumbs and I bend to wipe vomit and I bend to pick up little ones and wipe away tears… And at the end of these days I bend next to the bed and I ask only that I could bend more, bend lower.  Because I serve a Savior who came to be a servant.  He lived bent low.  And bent down here is where I see His face.  He lived, only to die. Could I? Die to self and just break open for love.  This Savior, His one purpose to spend Himself on behalf of messy us.  Will I spend myself on behalf of those in front of me? And people say “Don’t you get tired? And yes, I do.  But I’m face to face with Jesus in the dirt, and the more I bend the harder and better and fuller this life gets.  And sure we are tired, but oh we are happy.  Because bent down low is where we find fullness of joy.”

That quote describes the every want of my heart.  I want to live bent low, I want to go to the scary places, I want God to use me in ways I never thought possible, I want to go where love is needed.  

So yes, it was/is a total God thing that at the age of 13 years old I, uneducated, immature, and blind to the horribly dark corners of the world, stumble upon a photo-listing, and had my heart broken by faces that were locked away for being who they were made to be.    But it was no accident, and it was in fact all part of God's beautiful, and sometimes scary plan for my life.   Honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way.  I am in love with the unique passions that God has put in my heart, and I strive everyday to accomplish them so that I when the time comes I can hear God say “Well done, good and faithful servant.” 

With love,

Alyssa