As my family and I were sitting in the living room for family prayer before bed, I got to thinking.
We have prayed for many families who have lost, siblings, children, moms and dads, aunts and uncles. We prayed for healing and comfort, and for the pain to ease even just a little. We didn't quite understand there pain. So it was an easy prayer to pray. But eventually that prayer faded as if their sadness,pain,depression,sorrow,anger, and loneliness had all just suddenly disappeared. As if they didn't need that prayer. But since going through loosing Addison and realizing how every thought I have she is there. Every breath I breathe, every blink of my eyes, every step I take my emotions change. From being sad to angry at God for taking her. To Depression and wondering how life could possibly go on, to just balling my eyes out. Realizing how that prayer is still needed and always will be needed. How many times during the day I text friends, and other Godly women and ask for prayer, peace, and comfort. I now realize what the other families go through. For example a family my mom knows the Proud family, a year ago they lost there daughter Rebekah who was almost 2 years old. Or the Kligmann family who lost there 12 year old daughter Rachel 3 years ago. The Potvin family who lost there 9 year old daughter Ellie to cancer who had a twin named Grace. There are so many families who have big wholes in their hearts, because they have lost someone who meant so much. They now realize how delicate life is and how we need to cherish every week,day,hour,minute, and second. Life is to precious to waste. They all need prayer and comfort. The memories of that loved one is still there, a reminder. The happy moments, filled with laughter, smiles, and kisses. Then there is the day we all wish we could forget. The day they all went to be with Jesus. The day no one wants to remember. There are so many psychical reminders that we all wish weren't here. A pain that will never completely go away, but will only with time loose some of it's edge.
When I think of the morning, we lost Addison...I wish I weren't alive, I wish I were in a deep sleep that I will never wake up from. Nothing can make it go away, with everything I do she is in my mind. I just wish she were here. Prayer is something NEEDED in this time and for the rest of my life there will be many countless time that I will ask for prayer for this situation. I am going to make it a point to keep those families in my prayers. Show them the unconditional love I have been shown in this time.
God is all knowing and all powerful. We may not know why he takes our loved ones, or what good will come out of it. But that is where faith, and trust kick in.
Thank you to all who have prayed for me and my family in this time. If you would all keep the families I listed in your prayers and lift them up, ask for comfort peace and joy for those families.
Lots Of Love Alyssa.
